It's 1935 or thereabouts.
It was bombed during the war and patched up with Plasticine and BluTac.
The interior guttering is a unique feature, which is caused by the raging damp.
But Latimer and Haynes are supplying
windscreen wipers for your television set.
You got otter traps in the cellar and a free aqua lung course at the local college.
I'm not saying it's damp, but if the water levels rise anymore
you could find yourself selling a house boat in a couple of years.
Are you trying to tell us there's a problem with the damp?
No, what I'm really trying to say is that this is the best house I've ever sold.
I don't need to do a hard sell on this. Look at it. It's terrific.
Tell you what I'll do.
I'll let you in, you can look around on your own and I'll come back in 15 minutes, okay?
I tell you, if this house don't sell itself, I'm a monkeys uncle.
Fuck you! Wankers!
Wankers!
Tossers!
Transgressed the unwritten law this has.
Can you do anything with those scratches?
Sorry, boss.
Ta.
It's not on this, you know, Baa
It's all in hand, Nunk.
- Ta ta. - See you later.
That is well out of order.
You don't let people treat you like shit, I learned that in the army. You sort it out,
otherwise, they'll shit on you every other minute of the day.
Well, you tell him then.
Don't you worry I'll sort Bexie out.
Oh, very funny, son, very funny.
All right, hold it down. What are you having girls?
A heart attack if you're paying.
Do you want to try the tactful approach, or are you tired of living?
I'll have a pint of Drambuie if you're flush, Aitch.
Flush? Me? Look at me wodge.
I got loads of money, loads of money!
Have some of that money, mate.
Did you find anything interesting while you were crawiing up around Bexie's anal passage?
No, only your Rasta claat, man.
[Rasta dialogue]
Where's me boy? Knocker! Knocker, come on.
- Right, come on, what you having? - Vodka and tonic.
- What you want Snowy? - Hey, I'll have a Babycham.
That's three lager tops.
- What do you want JT? - Lager!
- Trigg? - Snakebite, Aitch.
And a snakebite for Rambo.
[Rambo impression]
Hold up, hold up, hold up.
Hang on the girlfriends coming.
Come on girls, give us a flash!
- Hang on boys, get a load of this. - Aww!
Cheap thrills.
Get your tits out, get your tits out,
get your tits out for the boys,
get your tits out for the boys.
You wanna T-Cut that.
Don't be bleeding stupid.
Rub it down first, you'll be all right.
I don't believe you sometimes, it needs a new skin that does.
Oh, like spending money do you, son?
Yeah, well, when you've got it, Dad.
I hope you give him a bloody good kicking, that's all I can say.
No, I'm just going to forget it.
If I was you I'd go round his gaff and pour brake fluid all over his paint work,
see how that goes down.
Dad, I know what I'm doing, I've got my reasons. Shut up.
- Darling? - Beloved?
When one's finished making love to the car
does one wish to carve or not?
Well, one would but one's got turps all over one's hands.
Super.
Cheer up, Dad.
All right?
Hello, babes. Hello, darling.
Boo.
Why don't we let them take Sammy down the park for a bit?
What? Let my Mum stuff him full of sweets?
Well, that's what grandparents are supposed to do, isn't it?
Yeah, one or two, but the rate she stuffs them down his neck
I'm surprised she's got time to take them out the bleeding packet.
Oh well, it was just an idea.
I thought I might let you stick your willy up me.
- That's a nice idea, isn't it? - Yeah.
You got any drawers on?
Oh blimey, suspenders.
- Oh, I'm all wet. - Hello Bill, you seen the motor?
Bexie?
Oh, Trigg, you bastard, this ain't the bleeding boozer you know.
You got your in-laws playing in the garden.
I didn't expect to find you having it off in the living room.
We're not having it off.
What you want anyway?
We gotta do 'em Bexie, tonight!
You can't let people treat you like shit!
All right, Trigg, mate, calm down.
Well, look at it!
I've been looking at it. I've seen it, mate.
That is well out of order!
Trigger, Trigger. Look at me, son. Look at me.
Do I look concerned?
No, you don't! You should!
It's all in hand, mate. Now cool out, guy, you know.
Heart attack time.
Well, ta ta then.
A cup of tea would have been nice.
Give my love to your mum.
Have you brought his nappy with you?
Can't get 'em, the Buccaneers must have used 'em all up.
Piss off.
Listen.
We ain't been in Europe for three years, fight?
In two weeks, there's going to be half of Europe waiting in Germany for us.
So?
Oh, no reason, Oboe, you leery prat. ls there, is there anyone in?
I know they don't cover it in the Beano.
- So I'll tell you what's been happening. - I've seen it.
There's over four thousand Dutch booked in for Germany for a start.
Four thousand Oboe, you micro moron. This is not a bunch of tulip growers
on a day trip to the Munich beer festival, these geezers are coming tooled up,
and 12 car workers from Birmingham with their brains in their right hand ain't gonna do nothing.
Well, I'll sell them a British car, the poor bastards'll be stranded there for life.
Listen!
If we don't stick together, they're gonna have us on our toes before we get off the Harwich ferry.
Sounds like you're running scared already, Bexie boy.
Right.
Oh, that's funny.
Dumb animals aren't supposed to speak are they?
Animal I might be, dumb I ain't. Did you win this morning?
I always win, Yeti, you should know that by now.
That's funny, didn't look like it to me
Look like we walked into your backyard, and tinted your windscreen.
- Nobody lifted a finger. - Remember?
What are you two slags going on about?
Our friend from the Buccaneers thinks that driving a car across a football pitch at 50 mile an hour
means he's had a result.
- Shows imagination though, don't it? - Yeah, well I suppose it would to you, Yeti.
When you've got the intellectual capacity of a lump of jelly,
I should think anything shows imagination, don't you?
Are you two slags going to bitch all night?
We've got a train to catch, okay?
Are you going to tell us about this mega plan of yours or what?
It's simple, Oboe.
Even you and Snow White might get the drift.
If we don't stick together they're going to trample all over us.
Told you, he's running scared.
Oh, am I wasting my time here or what?
I'm recruiting for a national firm. Do you want in or what?
Oh, don't tell me,
you wanna be top girl?
Of course.
There you are, Oboe, I told you it was simple enough for you to grasp. Who's a clever little girl then?
You make me sick you Cockneys.
Always think you've got the fight to run things.
Nah, no, no, no, you couldn't run a piss up in a brewery.
You're a joke.
What's the matter, love, getting too late for you?
Here, Nunky, ring room service and get Oboes warm milk it's past his bedtime.
I ain't following a bunch of thumb suckers.
You wanna run a national firm, friend? You put your ass in gear behind us, fight.
Oh, what with your track record? You need an A to Z to find a bog.
Well at least I wouldn't be on it all night shitting myself.
Listen, this is a fact, right, past two seasons, right,
we have rumbled every one in here.
Have a look at this, Cliffy, we've got pigs flying over here.
Hold up, hold up.
All right. Look ten of you, ten of us.
You take us out with just the top boys about and then you can take us on tour, sunshine.
Ditto.
Dildo, mate, the wold is dildo. You are a pair of dildos.
Listen, friend,
If we want to go tulip picking we'll go with me as top boy.
And if you want to stop us, then you'll have to come and rumble us.
All right?
And when you two shirt lifters have finished,
the winner can come down to us.
I leave you with the ICC motto.
We some in peace, we leave you in pieces.
Do you want your spanking now?
You, Oboe.
Tuesday.
You,
Blondie.
Saturday.
Look over your shoulders, girls.
ICC! ICC! ICC! ICC! ICC!
Ta ta, mate. Here, say hello to Gus for me. He owes me a fiver.
That you, Clive?
I hope so, otherwise you're being burgled.
- Want a cup of tea, love? - Yeah, lovely.
Is there any hot water, Mum?
Yeah.
Clive! Sue rang earlier.
She wants to know what time you'll be home.
Uh, about half eight.
All right.
Yeti!
Oboe!
You on for tomorrow night then?
- Bit short notice, isn't it? - You'd have found out last night if you'd turned up.
Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Bissell,
but if it comes to a choice between a drink with hooligans
and getting my end away, you come a poor second, chief.
Which reminds me, don't forget I was supposed to be with you.
- How'd you get on? - When I got her out in the light, I changed my mind.
Oh, that's an original way of saying you didn't get anywhere.
She was a dog. I'm telling you Bex
every woman has the right to be ugly, but this one just abused the privilege.
Yeah, well never mind, my son.
I just might accidentally let my tongue slip if you don't get up a posse for tomorrow night.
Yeah, all right, I'm in, I'm in.
Look I'll take the new motor, all right.
- Yeah, 4:30 there. - What!
Well it's an element of surprise, isn't it?
It's all right for you. You can just pretend you're selling
an Arab a garage for fifty grand. I get missed if I do a bunk.
- What's the matter with you? - Latimer, twelve o'clock high.
Bollocks. Trouble son, I've got to go. I'll see you there 4:30 on the dot.
We must distinguish, I think, between the bother boy, yobbo type hooligans
so representative of the 1970s
and today's more sophisticated, more disciplined hooligans.
Most of them have jobs, in fact some of them have
quite skilled jobs and quite a comfortable lifestyle.
Basically I see it as a kind of... search for meaning,
an attempt to validate their lives, give it significance
Why don't he just tell 'em we like hitting people?
Wank wank wank wank wank wank
What a tosser.
Wank wank wank wank wank wank
What a tosser!
Wank wank wank wank wank wank
You'll wake the baby up!
Sorry, Sue. It was Nunky.
No, it was all of us.
Can you turn that down a bit?
Yeah, it's finished anyway. Load of crap.
What's happening tomorrow then?
Well you... can get yourself over to Simes's for about midday.
You can go in the car.
Why can't I come on the train?
Because you are an under five and you're not allowed to play on the chuff chuff.
And anyway, you always turn up with no money and muggins here ends up paying for you. That's why.
So. Well, you gotta pay for the best, Boss.
Besides. You make the first class carriages look a mess, son.
How can a man who wears rejects from an Oxfam shop have a go at him?
Leave it, Trigger.
Okay, you can come with us.
But no jeans, bring your sweets, don't forget your pocket money.
Yo!
- Is she coming? - Yeah, sure thing, Boss.
Oh, come on, Bexie, no passengers, eh?
- We're taking you, ain't we? - Piss off.
Stunned to the core with another witty reply.
You can piss of an' all, Nunk.
- Two in a row. How do you think them up? - Give it a rest, you'll wake the kid.
He'll have it on his toes, Bexie, I'm telling you.
So you want to go to Europe do you Dominic?
Yeah. Yeah, if I can raise the cash.
Oh, isn't that sweet?
Have to get bloodied first.
You ever been tattooed?
No.
Virgin, eh?
What you looking at?
I can see you.
Gotta give you a mark ain't we, son.
Dominic. I would like you to meet a very old friend of mine and yours,
put your hands together for,
Stanley.
No. You ain't gonna do it with that are you?
Well now,
we all had to, son.
Bet you're glad you brought your brown trousers, ain't you, Dominic?
Jesus.
He won't help you.
Come on.
Come on. Up you get.
Get hold of that.
Well, go on then.
It's poisonous, that is.
Now, my son, if that gels into your bloodstream,
you could be dead by the morning.
Oh, yeah?
You lot are still walking, ain't you?
What a muppet.
You little plonker.
Will you shut up!
Yeah.
But the Duchess of York outshone them all
with an outfit that was easier to admire than to describe.
And even to seasoned Royal watchers, this was a special occasion.
It was the hottest ticket in Tinseltown.
You all right?
- Is there something wrong with him? - Yeah, he's still teething, isn't he?
Are you still teething, are you, darling?
You'd better be tickles biting on Mummy's nipples.
Well, I have a reserve. You're never here to do it.
Oh, dear, Mummy's being sarcastic again.
Shall we be witty back? Eh? Shall we say "piss off"?
- Bex don't. - Say "piss off."
- Let's tell Mumsy to piss off. Go on. - Piss off.
Bexie, look don't. He's starting to say it now.
Anyway, I'm glad you're pissing off tonight.
At least I'll get a bit of peace and quiet that way.
- What was the cold shoulder bit for then? - Piss off.
Don't. Don't tell him what Daddy does.
It ain't good for you to get your own way all the time.
- Well, once would be a bleeding miracle. - You must think I'm stupid or something.
Do you want the truth or the diplomatic answer?
- You ain't playing tonight. - I never said I was.
- That's your cheek - That's my cheek yeah.
I'm screwing Jacinta again.
I told you, she can't get enough of me.
Twelve-inch willy, working class.
I'm a Yuppie's dream come true.
It's a shame I ain't a Yuppie then, isn't it?
You're my bit of rough trade, you are.
Don't stay up all night, will you?
Nah. It's just a quick in-and-out job, this.
Well, whoever she is, tell her she's got my sympathy.
Oh, very funny. Almost funny.
Almost funny, Sammy, isn't it?
Give Mum a kiss.
Good boy.
Give us a kiss. Kiss, kiss.
Daddy loves you.
Daddy loves you, doesn't he?
Say "Daddy." Say "Daddy."
Daddy.
All right. See you later.
Don't be late.
Hey, look look look look.
Look at his face.
- You forgot to kiss her good-bye, Beef. - Shut up.
- What's all this? - What's all what?
- This. - Beefy's mum's a slapper!
Beefy's mum's a slapper! Beefy's mum's a slapper!
Shut up!
Homchurch boys! We are here! We rob your women and drink your beer!
Homchurch boys are big and strong! Homchurch boys! We are here!
We rob your women, and we drink your beer!
Homchurch boys are big and strong!
All right, mate?
Can I have three adults and one child to Birmingham New Street, please?
That's first class.
That's 178 pounds and 50 pence, please, sir.
That'll do nicely, thank you.
Hang about. Here's Adolf.
Triggsy boy!
All right?
I'm off to get a paper. I'll see you later.
I see you brought your boyfriend.
I don't like to leave him at home, he pines for me and scratches the door.
He's gonna piss off as soon as the ruck starts.
Look Triggsy!
If it's good enough for you, it's good enough for him.
You little bastard! I'll have you for that!
Yusef! Over here!
Yusey boy!
Come on over here!
Come on, son!
Come on, boy. Come on.
What's he got on his head?
What a hero.
Where you been?
Well, I had to go to school. Well, I didn't want to get in trouble.
You got your homework with you, son?
What's this?
Celtic?
What have we got to do with Scotland, son?
- PMT. - Well, What's that?
Pre-match tension.
A cup of tea.
- Better make this one a quickie, lads. - Funny you should say that. Go on, Beef!
It's love.
Wankers!
Buccaneers!
Wankers!
My car.
- He's a pussy anyway. - Where's he supposed to be meeting us?
- It's just up here. - Where, Bex?
- We'll hang on for Simon. - Where's Simon anyway?
How many with him?
The boys, JT.
Come on, Simon. Where are you?
- Shit! - Oboe!
Go!
Go! Go!
Oboe!
Come on, then.
Needs stitches, does this, Bex
Nice of Simon to turn up, eh?
He must have got held up.
- In the traffic. - I'll hold him up when I see him.
Maybe he got a puncture.
Or something.
You wanna get that sorted out, Yusef.
Now.
Come on, Dom.
Or we'll all get nicked.
Come on your own?
Didn't by any chance come on the train from London?
Ah, hitchhiked.
One nil to me.
And your name is?
Michael Jackson.
You need some more plastic surgery, Michael.
Oboe!
Bexie.
Fuck it!
Grab his arm!
- And the other one! - Give us it!
Oboe.
Okay, let's go! Go!
Yeah, cheers, mate.
Can you do that?
Hello? Yeah, can I speak to the poof with the blond hair?
Bexie boy.
So what's this? You got a part-time job as an alarm call?
Yeah, yeah, you could say that. Still got your curlers in, love?
Yeah, you spoke to your boy in the BMW lately?
No, not yet. Why?
He probably ain't in yet. Had a little meeting with him on the motorway.
Fixed his motor for him.
They don't half burn well them German jobs.
It's getting to be a bit of specialty with you, smashing up cars.
Is that what you're planning to do in Europe?
I bet there ain't a BMW in Germany that ain't parked on a curbside shitting itself already.
At least you've finally clocked on. It's me that's going and not you.
Listen, my son, the only place you're going is the mortuary,
'cause you ain't got the bottle to have it with me.
I know you're well gutted, 'cause you're giving it the cool one.
You'll be the gutted one on Saturday.
I'm gonna fillet you. You got that?
You wanna look over your shoulder, boy,
because I am going to engrave my name all over your ass, boss.
I didn't think you knew how to get down here.
Ain't had the bottle to come before, have you? Do you want directions?
No, I just stick my head out the window and follow me nose.
I'll see you Saturday
Shit! Come here!
Give it to Daddy! Give it to Daddy!
Right! Sue! Sue!
Right, hospital! Hospital! Come on.
Oh, Jesus Christ! Jesus.
- I'm sorry, babes. I was on the phone! - It's a bit fucking late, Bex.
My baby.
Will you stop?
Yeah, yeah, I told you.
When?
I need the buzz.
Well, buy a bloody beehive, then.
That's almost funny.
I've gotta have him!
You know that!
You saw what he did to the motor!
What's the matter with her?
I'm not exactly flavor of the month at the moment.
This feelings not entirely alien to me, Sime.
Why's that?
Little Sammy out his mouth on me Stanley.
- He all right? - Oh, yeah, fine.
Loves the attention. Scared the shit out of me, though.
It's a mess, isn't it?
- Had anyone look at it? - Nah, not yet.
I wanna do some work on it before I get the insurance in.
- What you gonna do? - I dunno really.
Billy reckons he can make it look like an electrical fault, could have burned the engine out.
What for?
Make it look like an electrical fault.
Well, I cant just say the inside caught fire, not with the engine pounded to bits.
Yeah, well, it's vandalism, isn't it? You're covered.
Yeah, probably.
I'm gonna make sure it's a complete write-off.
I fancy a new one.
Yeah, well, keep Saturday free. We'll go write-off The Yeti.
No.
Come on. Don't get, That's what he wants, isn't it?
I don't give a toss what some thumb-sucker south of the border thinks of me.
It's getting ridiculous.
I know. So we're going to put him out of the frame.
You can do it without me.
Okay.
I did Oboe for Yusef. Might as well do The Yeti for you.
Don't do nothing for me, Bex. Just let it drop.
What's the rush? He'll still be around next week.
No, he won't.
All right, I bottled it. So what?
If I'm gonna have a ruck with someone, it's because someone wants to fight me.
- Simple as that. - And The Yeti don't want to?
No, not really. No.
He has it on his toes all the time. Gets his kicks smashing up property, right?
Sniper stuff, that, Bex. Your car, my car.
I ain't interested, mate. Kid stuff.
- Crap. - I dunno why you're so keen.
One more little trip down The Bailey,
and the next time you'll be seeing that kid of yours, you'll be a grandfather.
All right, Wes, mate. Yusef in?
Piss off, Bissell.
Don't get heavy with me. I'd hate to annihilate you in your own home.
- Does it hurt? - Happy?
I'm delirious, Wes. What's with you?
Nothing much. Its really good seeing your little brother sliced up.
- Well, you wanna see the other geezer. - I couldn't give a shit about the other geezer.
You're getting on my nerves, Wesley.
I don't ask him to come. He knows what's going down.
You stood your ground, didn't you?
Me and Snowy put him out of the frame for you.
Ethnic bonding ritual. Right on, brother.
He'd be smiling right now, only he'd split his cheeks open.
Doing The Yeti Saturday.
- I'll come. - Don't be stupid. You talk too much.
- Anyway get yourself fit for Europe, boss. - Piss off, Bex.
Do you ever get the feeling you're not wanted? Take care, champ.
Wes, mate, how can I put this?
I can't.
You're out of your league, son. Take care, Sef.
Man's an animal.
- We've had enough of it. - What you mean?
It's no buzz, chasing someone who's on their toes all the time.
That's foxhunting, that.
I don't know what you're talking about, son.
You never saw the state of the motor, did you?
No. So the big, brave Homchurch boys are bottling it?
I never said that. It's just pissing us off, that's all.
That's what it looks like from where I'm standing.
Bex we still gonna sort The Yeti if Simon, Beef and that lot don't want to have it?
Someone's gotta fly the flag, ain't they?
- Yeah, well, Beef don't seem to think so. - It's all in hand, Aitch.
- Bit of a loser all round, ain't you? - If you say so, Nunky.
I'm off to the bog.
- See if I'm still man enough to have a piss. - Do you wanna borrow my magnifying glass?
That's all right, darling. I'll get someone else to help me look.
It'll be more funny.
Bagsy me.
- Get 'em in. - Sure thing, boss.
What's the matter with you? Someone been screwing your wife again?
Well, someone has to.
You're getting up everyone's nose tonight.
What you talking about?
What you doing here anyway?
You wanna bottle it, that's okay.
But don't come here and try to take the rest of the crew with you.
I wouldn't do that. I was just passing.
Yeah? Well, pass off then!
Confucius say, "Man who bottles out gets bottled in."
- Know what I mean? - It was just talk. I'll be there.
No, you won't.
I'm dropping you.
Take the weekend off.
Go fishing or something.
I don't understand you. What you getting so heavy about?
You're scaring off the snipers, and I need my Trojan Horse for Saturday.
I can do without that.
And I can do without you.
I didn't know.
You're giving me the right raving hump, my son.
I make a bad enemy, Beef.
Avoid me.
- Feast your eyes on it. - This is Mandy.
Are you Clive Bissell?
- Yeah, my? - Right.
You've had it there, mate.
- It's your birthday, isn't it? - No. Why?
Do you wanna hear this or not?
Come on, then.
- Shut up. - Shut up, Nunk.
What is it with you?
"Your brains will drip like spaghetti off the end of a Bucko machete.
If you're south of the border, you're well out of order.
You'll die at the hands of The Yeti."
Wait a minute. That is well out of order, right?
- Well out of order! - Well out of order, Trigg.
- Take it easy. - What we going to do about it?
Can I do me belly dance now?
Lets get something straight.
When that kid is in this house, he's safe, right?
What you talking about? He is safe.
Yeah, most blokes leave Stanley knives lying around the house, don't they?
- What you talking about? - I've had enough of your big boys games.
- Don't turn your back on me! - I ain't turning turning me back!
I ain't exactly running away. I'm gonna hear your nagging voice wherever I fucking go!
Yeah, too right.
Look! It is late. You're tired, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
I said I am sorry! You know, I am sorry!
I'm more sorry than you know!
I'm not going to put up with all this emotional crap! I don't see why!
He's all right, and I told you it won't happen again!
He could have swallowed it. He could've poked his eye out.
You fucking nutter. I do not want you to carry a blade in this house.
This is a normal house with normal people.
I don't want to live with a 30-year-old boot boy. You're a fucking joke!
- I don't see anyone laughing at me? - No, you don't. They won't laugh at you.
Not to your face anyway. But they laugh at me for putting up with you.
You don't see it.
What I want to know is, what's so bad about being normal?
- What's wrong with being bloody normal? - I told you, I need the buzz.
- Well, buy a bloody beehive then. - That's almost funny, that is.
Don't follow me about. It's like showing a punter round a house.
Stop keep walking away from me then.
- Right. I want you to stop, and I mean it this time. - I told you I will.
- When? - When you stop.
Stop what?!
Well, it's my cock that's on the floor.
- Fucking animal. Do you know that? - Me?
- Yeah, pathetic! - I told you I just got to have him!
If you want to carry on, you can go back to your mother's.
Go on. Piss off!
I wanna live with a grownup, not a 30-year-old hooligan.
- Don't give me ultimatums. - I just have.
You go chasing that leery git, you don't stay here.
Suits me.
Yeah. Yeah, that's right.
Yeah, go on, back to your mummy's. Go on. Kid.
Do you wanna see me across the road?
That's it, girl. Go on, kick the door down.
Give me something to do at the weekend.
What's the matter, love? Feeling lonely already?
Shit.
Hold on.
All right, I'm coming.
Come on, hurry up.
What the hell are you doing here?
I got a couple of punters with me, show them round the house.
- What's going on? - Ain't Mum told you? You're selling up?
You only looked.
- You staying the night? - Yeah. How much you charge?
You always did treat the place like a hotel.
Your night porter's uniform could do with letting out.
I'll put the kettle on.
- Come on, darling. Open your handbag. - Christmas.
Well, I think you're bleeding pathetic.
Pater. You're just the ph-ph-photographer, okay?
In my day we'd have rushed up the Old Kent Road and kicked the shite out of them.
All this shows is that none of you got any bottle, if you ask me.
Well, no one did.
This is a precision raid, right?
Right.
Yeah, right. It's like cutting out a cancer.
You should have done him Sunday.
I said that. Don't take no shit.
Sort them out straight away. I learned that in the army.
You ever get that sort of feeling where you think you've heard something before?
- Shut it, Nunk. - Deja vu.
Nah, don't use that language in front of the snipers.
What's the matter with you? You brain-dead or something?
No, I left mine at home, didn't I? Seemed like the best thing to do.
Yeah, don't worry about Dominic, girls.
It's nerves.
This time next week, my son, you're gonna be a local hero.
A living leg-end.
When you walk into the pub, they're going to point and say,
"There goes Dominic, the man who led the Inter City Crew raid on the Buccaneers.
He's gonna fly the flag in Europe."
Well, either that, or you'll be dead. It's difficult to say really.
Anyway, let's cut the bollocks.
- Are we going to have this team photo? - Everyone hold something.
- God, not another orgy, mate. - Don't muck about, Snowy.
All right.
I'll give you a run, then.
- Take it easy with that, Trigger. - Everybody up.
These are heavy.
- All right? - Right.
- Right! - Give it some.
All look vicious.
Come on, Bill.
Pathetic.
Come on, Bill!
- Come on, Bill. - Come on.
Here we go.
- All for one! - And one for all!
That's great, mate. That'll some out a treat.
- Come out a treat. - Don't know what you're getting so excited about.
Forgot the flash.
Why so unhappy, girls?
Look, it ain't bottling, Bex.
It's just bloody stupid, that's all.
It was daft enough, 11 of us going to Birmingham. Now there's only six
It's just suicide, Bex.
- So, I'm daft now, am I? - He didn't mean it like that.
Well, it sounded like it to me!
- I thought you told me this man was well hard. - Yeah, he is.
Except I've got this aversion to getting meself killed.
Come on!
Let's have you!
Come on. Let's have it!
You don't talk like that to me, see?
'Cause you ain't earned the right.
I'm gonna give you a little lecture now, Dominic.
Do you know what sociology is?
I do. I've got an A-level in it. Clever git, ain't I?
Sociology is the study of social problems.
Now you, you've got a big social problem, boss.
- Come on, Bex we're on your side. - You've got a funny way of showing it!
You see, Dom, Simon and Beef can run away.
They live ten miles out. They can hide if they want to.
But you, this is your manor.
You've gotta walk up and down the street every fucking night.
And you're going to see me everywhere.
And I don't like seeing people who let me down, 'cause it gets me mad!
So you're in.
Both of you!
Right up the pointed end.
That's peer group pressure that is.
It's a real bastard.
All right? All right?
All right, lads. Back in the toy box come on.
- You all right Snowy? - Yeah mate.
You know he was right.
You should have used the flash.
Here we are.
Dad. Do us a favor. Get the Hoover out.
I'll put the kettle on as well, if you like.
Two sugars.
There we are.
Off to work we go, eh, Bexie?
Hi ho.
Who is it?
- Police, love. Can you open up? - You got a pass or something?
- We've got a warrant. Can you open up? - What for?
Does Clive Bissell live here?
Yeah, my?
We got a warrant to search the premises
and we'd like to ask him a few questions, that's all.
Any chance of coming in?
Hey, hold on a minute! There's a baby up there!
- Are you Mrs. Bissell? - Yeah.
Better get your hubby up, love. My friend can be a bit rude.
My hubby is well gone, love.
What?
Watch my lips. He is not here.
Right. You. Out!
- Anything? - Nothing.
- Station? - Nothing there either.
Gotta be inside then, ain't he?
What's he off his head, or what?
He ain't here, Boss.
I told you, Bexie's bottled it.
You sure?
On my life. He ain't here.
I told you he would, Boss.
Right.
Let's do it.
What is he?
- Number one! - He's bottled it!
What's Bexie done?
He's bottled it!
What has he done?
He's bottled it!
I can't hear you!
He's bottled it!
- He's bottled it, Yeti! - He's bottled it!
Yeah!
Yeti! Yeti! Yeti! Yeti! Yeti! Yeti! Yeti!
Come on, all of you I
Yeah!
Bexie!
Oh, come on!
Oh, bloody hell, not you lot again.
We're going to Europe to do the Europeans.
Is that plain enough for you?
All Of them!
Hold up! Hold up!
Hold on.
For me! For me!
I'm going for Bexie 'cause he was top boy, right?!
Yeah, right.
- He didn't die in vain. - No. It was quick
Because we've all come together.
Right? The Buccaneers, the ICC, the Ho, we're all here.
- Homchurch! - And--
- Don't forget The Homchurch! - We're all here. We're all here.
And we're all going to Germany!
- All right. - Yeah, we're all going.
It's dog eat dog, isn't it?
What's dog eat dog?
Well, one man steps on my toe, I step on his.
- That's it. - You know what I'm saying?
Bollocks.
Hold on. It says in the bible, an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.
Right!
So either way we're all Christians!
Yeah!
But he was visionary and he wanted a national firm.
He had brains!
Yeah. And he had brains.
You had to come in on this 'cause it was visionary.
- He sorted it, for all of us. - The man was special.
It's about... No, but it's not the point.
But he lives on! Bexie lives on!
Bex! Bex!
You can't say that.
We're carrying him, how can he be dead?
Because it's about belonging.
It's about belonging. It's about belonging.
We're all here because of him. You can't say he's dead.
- Bexie! - Bexie! Bexie!
Bexie! Bexie!
Bexie! Bexie! Bexie!
No, listen, its unfortunate. I got this.
But it's a buzz. I, we, love doing it.
- Yeah! - And we'll do it anywhere.
We'll go to Europe and do it. We'll do it in this country. They're not gonna stop us!
Oi, listen, I'll tell you something, mate.
Shut up, right!
I'll tell you something, if they stop it at football, right?
Stop the rucks at football, we'll go boxing,
we'll go snooker, we'll go darts,
Yeah!
Look at that. Look at that.
That's football.
- What does that prove? - What do you mean?
It proves I stood!
- It proves he's hard! - It proves I stood!
See that? That's what its all about, mate.
That's what it's all about!
England! England! England! England! England!
Yeah!
... world cup we won
Two world wars and one world cup we won
Yeah!
Here we go, here we go, here we go,
Here we go, here we go...